Number 5

If you haven't already, check out my new Mary Kay skin care and cosmetics site!
https://www.marykay.com/dorrenna

Once we had really processed the major changes in store for our family, we decided it was time to share our news with others. Sadly, I can't say my original fears were displaced. Some were supportive and appeared to be genuinely excited, but the reaction we got from most was disheartening.

You could immediately see the look of worry and concern on people's faces. You would have thought we told them we were facing a serious health diagnosis instead of having a baby. It almost seemed they felt bad for us. We understood they were just realistically looking at our now having a 5th child as being an added responsibility to our already heavy load, and were sincerely  concerned, but I still couldn't help but be offended.

Did they question my mothering skills? Did they think I was failing in some way with the other 4 and assume I couldn't efficiently care for another baby? Was it because we couldn't afford a bigger home or our age? Was that a requirement now for having a child? My hormones were out of control and I was on the defensive.

It hurt my feelings that people we loved couldn't share in my joy and I felt the need to defend my child. Not physically of course, but defend in the sense of making sure that the people we surrounded it with would appreciate the blessing it was to get to partake in it's life. There is no greater honor then to watch a child learn and grow, knowing you somehow played a part in it.

I felt sad and insecure. We were well aware of what this meant for our lives and were trying to mentally prepare ourselves for it. I looked back on the joy and excitement the news of our last child brought, and truly wanted it for this baby as well. It deserved it. We were 2 married adults, and though the pregnancy wasn't planned, we were great parents who would provide for this child in every way.

I felt people were saddened for our other children and wondered if they thought having another was taking something away from them. Then I wondered if those who were thinking this were right. Finally, I realized, it didn't matter what anyone thought. At the end of the day, it changed nothing. It was still our lives and solely our responsibility. The only thing left to decide about the matter was what attitude we were going to have about it.

Eventually my hormones calmed down and I could clearly see in retrospect that everyone who knew us, knew we had our hands full! Of course they were going to be concerned if they truly cared for us at all. They loved us and our children and didn't want life to be harder for us. As the pregnancy progressed, they'd get on board.

Once I made peace with this, I was able to take a much needed lighter perspective. The people my husband worked with made jokes about him being so fertile it was dangerous for a female to even stand next to him and not yet knowing the sex or name of our little bundle, refered to it as number 5. We found it funny as well, and even temporarily stole the nickname.

After all, yes babies are hard work, little sleep, and lots of worry, but one look into that little face and none of that would matter. One day soon, instead of wondering what we were going to with another baby, we would be looking back and wondering how we ever survived without her.