Having one income really took it's toll on our finances. It was important to me not to put the baby in daycare until she was able to talk. Lets face it. We live in an age with no shortage of horror stories about daycare incidents. The world had changed and her safety was something I couldn't compromise on. Ideally, we'd put her in the daycare where her father worked. Unfortunately they had a long waiting list. We added her to it and hoped her name would reach the top before I found something.
I loved being at home with her. It was something I had never gotten to experience with my older children and the bond we had developed was priceless. I had already given up all the perks I enjoyed from my previous income. I didn't have a cell phone and stopped getting my hair done. I cut every corner possible but it still wasn't enough. Soon my car got repossessed and we were in real danger of loosing our house.
Despite the joy I felt from my family, part of me still felt broken. I wasn't sure if it was from loosing my mother or the drama that ensued prior to our marriage, but expected it was a combination of both and so much happening at once. I felt anxious just going to Walmart, let alone trying to find a new job where I'd have to interact regularly with complete strangers.
Regardless of my reservations. I knew it had to be done. I had a college degree I had worked my tail off to obtain that was gathering dust and I couldn't let us lose our home. Thanks to a call from a previous co-worker, I was hired immediately. We had to find childcare and fast. We researched every daycare in the area and compared everything from hours and rates to nap time proceedures. Once we narrowed it down, we visited each one in person.
The 1st reminded me of a pound. It had an odd odor but instead of excited puppies sectioned off and running around, it was toddlers. The level of chaos was surprising. Kids were climbing on everything, fighting with each other, and you could barely hear. The next was slightly better but expensive. Due to being able to work different shifts, we only needed care for about 2 hours a day. They said this held the spot from another child so they would have to charge for the entire day. The 3rd was 1 large room that didn't seperate kids based on age which we worried could pose a safety risk.
Finally, we went to the last on our list. We were so discouraged. Thank goodness this one was exactly what we were looking for. They had cameras to document any potential issues. The children were seperated into classrooms based on age, the staff was friendly and attentive, and they only charged for the time your child was actually there. When we saw the teachers interacting lovingly with the kids, we knew this was the one.
Those first few days were really hard for me. I couldn't wait to get home to her. I felt guilty for leaving her. I wondered if she was distressed or missing me. I had to keep reminding myself she was only there for two hours. Soon, she would ask to go on days she got to stay home, and would ask to stay longer when we picked her up. I realized she wasn't bothered by it at all. She loved it!
We developed a new routine. I would lay out everything for her the night before. Her dad would watch her until he had to go in and then drop her off on his way. I would pick her up as soon as my shift ended. She made friends quickly and I loved getting her little craft projects to hang in my office. She was doing so well we didn't even consider switching her over when they informed us the center at her dad's work finally had an available spot. She was going to be just fine, and now that I understood she was in good hands, so was I.
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